Month: February 2009

Slumdog Millionare Slapped…by media..

The news channel were flashing about Azharudin being slapped by his father for not giving interviews.
His father’s explanation was that the child spoke very rudely to someone who had come from far and that the behaviour could not be condoned, hence a spanking was due…Now what the hell is wrong in that I say…I have seen the child’s interviews and he is a cocky kid full of spunk who can get carried away by the flash bulbs. So now the parents of the slum kids are answerable for every slap or spanking they give to their kid?
The channels especially India TV [ Does the intelligent Rajat Sharma watch his own channel? ], Aaj Tak are dishing out crap more than ever, it’s as if recession has hit them hard and they have employed reporters of the campus at discounted rates, who do a cut paste job for eyeballs. Yea, pls convey our congrats to all the winners and the complete team of Slumdog..I loved it..Paisa Vasool Fare..and that is important. Please now get back to work and report to us how the government is doing in protecting us from further attacks – how the vidharba farmers are doing – or how many Satyam scandals are waiting in the wings to be investigated and exposed.

Mutiny In Bangladesh…

India is really unfortunate to have such Banana Republics as it’s neighbours. Dictators, Dynasties and downright Morons are what we are surrounded with, and most unfortunate part is the ably administrated China is our sworn enemy..
Heart goes out to the familes of the victims in this bloody mutiny – total falure and breakdown of political administration!!

Obama and Outsourcing…

Obama has announced that there would be no tax sops for companies into outsourcing. Do the Tax Sops offered, outweigh the benefits of outsourcing – a simple question which has a simple answer – NO!!.
Politicians the world over should wake up to the fact that though our travels are limited by the boundaries defined by us,business and work are not.

Why is Ramalinga Raju unhappy?

Hyderabad. Unconfirmed sources have revealed that Raju is terribly unhappy about Slumdog Millionaire getting the Golden Globe award for the "Best Screenplay". His unhappiness basically stems from the fact that his company’s Balance Sheet was not even considered for the nomination.

"The P&L statement of my company is already a bestseller in the FICTION category across the world." Raju has been quoted as saying. This quote actually comes as a surprise to a lot of financial analysts who now believe that the company’s accounts should actually be sold in the recipes section as the company has been doing nothing but cooking the books.

Incidentally, this is not the first time that Raju has expressed his displeasure over an issue. He has in the past reacted to his company being sidelined in the favor of biggies like Infosys, when it comes to matters like Corporate Governance. Raju told a section of media "my company has been contributing in its own way to the India STORY." He sees himself as a man of steely vision. "If Sardar Patel was the iron man of India, I am the man of STEAL", he was heard saying.

Talking of Corporate Governance, Raju also clarified on the issue of Golden Peacock award being taken away from them. "It was a misunderstanding to start with", Raju clarified. As it turns out, when Raju proclaimed "I want a share of your wallet", investors thought he was talking to the customers. The fact that he was actually talking to the investors themselves was not realized by anybody.

In these tough times for Raju, help came from an unexpected quarter – Bollywood. One director is working on a plot where a small time guy from village gets trapped in the pressures of corporate world and does everything possible to show profits quarter after quarter. He however has a change of heart after seven years and confesses to everything bad done by him, exonerating everyone else in the company from the scam. The title has been registered as "Raju Ban Gaya Gentleman".

This director, just for the record, was not on the board of Satyam. This makes him an "independent director" as far as this issue is concerned.

Despite bad news flocking from all quarters, Raju has not lost hope. "Afterall our national emblem itself quotes – Satyamev Jayate: In the end, only Satyam Triumphs", Raju expressed hope.

Disclaimer: All the quotes in this article are as fictitious as Satyam’s cash.

(This special story has been reported by Faking News special correspondent Shashank)