Munnabhai, Circuit aur Demonetization…

[Watching TV news about demonetization]
Circuit – Kamaal hai bhai, Modiji ne 500 aur 1000 ka rokda bandh kar diya.

Munna – Ha yaar…Bapu khush ho jayega.

Bapu – Nahi Munna..[Munna is shocked by sudden appearance of Bapu].

Munna – Kyu Bapu?

Bapu – Muje modiji ki niyat pe bilkul shaq nahi, par kaam tarikke se hona chaihye, warna takliff dene main congress ki kya kami thi…

Circuit – Bhai..kis se baat kar rahela hai…

Munna – Aam insaan ki ruh se Circuit, tu quarter maar, tuje nahi samjega…

Circuit – Bhai woh to thik hai.. apna quarter wala bola, digital payment kar warna jyaada rokda lagega..

Munna – Yeh Digital kya hota hai..

Circuit – Wahich main bola, saala pure bharat varsh main ghumke sikhana padega..

Munna – Sikhna padega sab ku, akele pradhanmantri thodi mehnat karega..

Circuit – Sambhalna bhai, aisi baat se public aajkal nayi gaali deti hai..

Munna – Kya gaali deti hai..

Circuit – BHAKT bolegi aapko…

Munna – Abe yeh gaali thodi hai…

Circuit – Ha lekin, bolte waqt THOBDA aise banate hai log, ki gaali lagti hai…

Munna – Chal bank jaate hai…

Circuit – Bhaiii.. itni badi line..Daaru ke alawa kabhi apun khada nahi raha line main…

Munna – Ruk main aata hu…
[Munna returns all bruised]

Circuit – Kya hua bhai..

Munna – Kuch nahi, Amitabh ka dialogue maar ke line main khade rehne gaya..jahan hum khade hote hai..wahich line shuru..Bahut maara public ne…Gandhigiri bhi nahi chali..

Circuit – Bhai..aap ke paas to Bapu hai…kuch direct connection lagao na ROKDE ke liye.. puri vaat laga di Modiji ne…

Munna – Aisa mat bol Modiji ke baare main, tu bhi maar khayega – deshdrohi bolege tereko…

Circuit – To bhai karne ka kya..

Munna – Jane de..Udhaari pe quarter maarte hai aur chup beth ke tamaasha dekhte hai…


Health Minister declares war on tobacco !!

Today’s Mumbai Mirror’s headlines reflect the title of the post.

No doubt R.R.Patil was a well intending politician, a rare breed that continues to survive today among many a wrong party and under wrong leaders. However headlines such as this does make us wonder, when would the death of a common man also solicit such a reaction or action from the government.

Recent news of a drug called Meow Meow, doing rounds of school and the teen circuit was scary enough though we are yet to hear of further action on the same.

Unscrupulous auto drivers continue to rule the roost, and today’s incident of a auto driver doing unbelievable things to himself, while driving and at the same time staring at the woman in the auto is horrific. Such things were unheard of till a few years back.

However we have a capable Rakesh Maria as the police chief and look forward to ridding this city of such scums !

AAP – Kejriwal losing the plot ?

The reversal of FDI, has come as a rude shock to AAP supporters across India. The fact that this will send a wrong signal to the investors across world cannot be undermined.

The so called grocers, baniyas have not exactly been doing social service and have been fleecing people either in terms of money or quality of goods.

We have a right to choose and Kejriwal cannot take that away from us. It’s time AAP pulls up it’s socks and reviews it’s own house and sets it in order.

The confidence on AK’s face is dwindling too, and he looks lost while facing media on controversial questions giving the image that he is unprepared, not exactly the right way for an aspiring PM and an in charge CM to be projected as.

Also whats with any and every tom, dick and harry across the land joining the bandwagon – is there a system in place to ensure that AAP gets more intellectual individuals with requisite experience to lead in politics ?

Vishwas needs to cut down on his rhetoric too, before it boomerangs on his own face.

What the hell is going on ?

Post the dreadful gang rape, it seems media has suddenly discovered that molestations, rapes and abduction need to be reported and hence instead of daily political bickering and gibberish that we were fed has now been replaced by the social evils and injustice faced by us lesser people.

For the channels, it’s all about grabbing eyeballs for TRPs. There was news of 2 boys who committed suicide as they were accused of molestation, and they left a note that they were wrongly accused of the same. Rape is a monstrosity, that needs to be curbed but does not mean, that we go bombastic and try to lynch each and every suspect that we come across.

Pick up any newspaper, and now a days you read rape written on every page, across almost every state in India. We need to think how we need to go about the same, whether in implementing the law, or in publicizing the incidents, as done by the media.

Leadership Vaccum..

The current agitation has exposed the leadership vaccum that exists in our political spectrum. We were aware of the internal power struggle and the petty squabbles that now and than erupt at the BJP headquarters, and now we are aware that the situation is more or less similar at Congress too.

Jaitley’s remark that Congress depends too much on lawyers, although the same can be said about BJP, is true to some extent. Kapil Sibal has always tried to be the troubleshooter for Congress, depending upon his gift of the gab, as a lawyer.

However, Kapil somehow gives one an image of a scheming fox, wonder why no one from Congress has observed this, the feedback can be had from Civil Society and Baba Ramdev. Hence instead of helping Congress, it’s always the opposite, with the high command required to step in to douse the fires started by Sibal and gang.

Manmohan Singh’s silence is scary, it speaks volumes of the state of affairs at Congress. If a man, as educated and as experienced as him can be silenced, that what future does congress intend to shape up for India? Instead of dilly-dallying further, it’s high time that Manmohan Singh should put in his papers, and let Rahul Gandhi take the reins since every kid in India knows that is the first priority of Congress and it’s high command.

I do not see the innocence or naivety of a Rajiv in Rahul, to trust him with the high post, but I am sure that Congress is powerful enough to force the people of India to welcome him as the next PM !!.

Hence let’s get it over and done with please…

India on the streets by Chetan Bhagat

We have all had that one uncle who keeps on reminding you how India is terrible. He tells you about how every government authority takes bribes – from the RTO to the ration shop to the municipality. He will tell you how no government department does its job well – the potholed roads, abysmal conditions at government schools and poor healthcare all being examples to support your uncle’s theory. It is hard to argue with him, for he is right. Things don’t work. There is no justice. Power talks. Equality doesn’t exist. All of this, even though uncomfortable to hear, rings somewhat true.

However, the uncle goes on to say this: “Nothing will ever change.” He is convinced that our society is damaged irreparably, and India is destined to live in misery. Uncle Cynic goes on to doubt almost everyone, assumes the worst in people, and anyone who is trying to improve the country is branded as someone with a hidden agenda.

This is where i think the uncle gets it wrong, horribly wrong. For it is one thing to point out the problems, it is quite another to give up trying to fix them. Cynicism is not a counter-argument, it is an attitude. For the fact is we still have good people in the country: in society and even in government departments. It is just that they are crushed.

I don’t want to give you the reasons why you must support Anna Hazare. It is almost beneath Anna’s dignity that he actually has to beg or make a case for support when he is fighting for you, against an abusive, corrupt regime. Still, let me do a quick recap of the facts.

Anna did a fast in April, which became the nation’s movement and spread virally. Concerned, the government agreed to make a good Lokpal Bill, shook hands with the activists and in principle agreed to Anna’s version, designed to truly check corruption. Since then, the government has insulted Anna’s team, thrown away their draft, and come up with its own almost pointless draft of the Lokpal Bill.

The draft the government is presenting to Parliament will not check corruption. Only 0.5%, or one in 200 government officials are under its purview. Your corrupt ration shop, RTO, passport office, panchayats or municipal authority will not be covered. State scams will not be covered – yes, the Adarsh society scam or the Jharkhand scams are all out of its purview. The prime minister is excluded as well. Ever heard of a corruption law in a democracy that only applies to a certain section of people?

The government is throwing magic dust in your eyes – and counting on India’s illiterate and ignorant to not know the difference. However, you reading this are educated. You know when wrong is being committed. You know that while you have lived your life with corruption, you do not want your children to do the same. A bad Lokpal Bill may not affect you today – but tomorrow it will hit you when your child does not get a college seat, when your hospital gives shoddy treatment, when your government work doesn’t get done. We live in a poor country – poor not because we don’t have what it takes to be rich, but because our leaders have let us down. We have given them too much power, and they consider our vote as a mandate to steal and be incompetent. They hate accountability. However, without accountability, our progress will stall. There are countries where the average income per person is 50 times more than in India. Don’t we deserve the same?

Thus, whatever your personal view on Anna, it is not him but his cause that needs support. The government can crush a few activists. However, it cannot crush India on the streets. A peaceful, firm, decisive protest is every Indian’s birthright, and must be exercised in times of need. Come Monday, and we Indians have a job to do. We have to save our country’s future.

A word for the government too. Just what exactly are you thinking when you are trying to shove an impotent law down people’s throats? And what makes you feel that threatening, crushing or insulting Anna will take away people’s need to rid India of corruption? Anna did not create an anti-corruption sentiment, he merely tapped into it. Crushing Anna will not take away that sentiment. It will just make it fester more. Right now, the movement is still controlled. By going back on your word, displaying arrogance and not listening to the people, you are risking the country’s descent into chaos. Be careful. Accountability is much easier to deal with than anarchy. Fix the Lokpal Bill now, please.

Finally, for the people of India, it is time to prove Uncle Cynic wrong. There is a bigger truth than his ‘nothing ever changes in India’. That truth comes from the Gita, which states “Nothing is permanent”. The Gita also says, “When the pot of sin overflows, something happens to restore order.” Now, it is up to you to determine if the pot of sin has overflowed. It is for you to say what it means for Indians to act out their dharma. And you, and only you, will decide if it is time to come on the streets.

(The writer is a best-selling novelist)

Forward if you like it.

Aarakshan – Reservation – banned in UP..

..”Jaha ek chandaal neta ne Mandal ka Kafan Oudhakar karwayi masoom vidyarthi-yo ki aatm-vilopan se desh main mere bhai bolo mera bharat mahaan ??”..

When I had recited a poem, born out of anguish during the Mandal Commission episode, to a ex-Samajwadi leader, he explained to me in depth the situation that exists in rural India. In principle, he was all for Merit based selection, but the political machinations, prevalent in the north, read UP/Bihar, as per him made it – Aarakshan – necessary. A stand which urban youth, is not able to understand and never will unless exposed to the trauma of being a lower caste individual in the villages of north.

As Saif, ironically of royal nawaabi lineage, who plays a dalit in the film, put it that today too dalit students are expected to clean toilets of the schools they attend, and unless you see it for yourself, you will not believe it.

The ban exposes the intention of the political system in place, which like an ostrich, wants to bury its head in the sand, and hope that the problem will magically vanish.

V.P.Singh who became the prime minister riding high on the bofors wave, but was unable to provide a economically stable governance, divided the nation further in a single stroke by insisting to implement the Mandal Commission report.

Riots erupted everywhere, but this was one issue on which the nation’s youth was united, India needed a class based reservation and not a caste based reservation. Give priority to financially backward students/people irrespective of their caste, it did not make sense to provide scholarships/quota for a SC/ST who travelled in a Mercedes/BMW !!!

I feel the film medium is the best bet for initiating a debate nationwide, and to spread awareness of the pros-cons of Aarakshan, and among the current crop of filmmakers, it is Jha who can perhaps provide a better insight into the background of the reservation system.

Using a megastar’s presence, can perhaps further the cause of implementing a merit based education system in India. But knowing the culture of our dear politicians, this may remain a distant dream !!!

CBI implicates Maran in 2G status report

The year 2011 will be remembered for the highest number of scams and of mindbogging figures, involving Cabinet Ministers.
It is unheard of that a cabinet minister implicated by CBI, continues to remain in office, where as he should have been removed so as to assist the investigating agency.
DMK ministers seem to have literally adopted that charity begins at home. All this revelations, have definitely exposed Manmohan Singh, who seems to be hell bent on shedding his clean image. His diplomacy, being quiet, almost dismissive of all concerns whether from civil society, opposition or media, reeks of cowardice and servile submission to 10 Janpath.
Now after the Supreme Court’s stern observation, hope Mr.Singh is mobilized and stirred enough to do something for his country.
We still have cases of Malnutrition coming from Mumbai, of all the places in India, the financial capital of India. Just imagine the condition of rural areas, and that too when media has already exposed tonnes of foodgrains rotting in govt godowns.

Can India afford such a spineless Prime Minister, is a question we need to ask ourselves.

Baba Ramdev Vs. Sonia ?

What a Drama !! A government that boasts of the largest and biggest scam of 1.75 Lakh crore, largest ever in the history of Free Modern India, comes down hard on Ramdev and his followers in the middle of the night just for asking to ACT and bring back Black Money from Swiss Banks.

Why? Is it because many of the UPA faces would be exposed? This raises a lot of questions for the common man who till date believed in the impeccable reputation of Manmohan Singh. This act raises whether Manmohan is still untouched by the corruption around him.

Turning a blind eye, as he did to the acts by DMK ministers, is also an act of a corrupt mindset, that is interested in the vested interest of keeping his chair.

In fact I am surprised at this suicidal act, which will further strengthen the communal forces of India. This act exposes how politically incompetent are the forces that occupy the highest chair in India. But what can you expect, when you have a person like Kapil Sibal, known to act more as a Political Broker than a Politician as one of the chief advisors. This is the man who set out to single handedly revamp the education system, anyone heard anything later on that?

Digvijay Singh, a politician, who still lives out his royal lineage, and declares statements and handsout titles such as “Thug” as if the people of India will accept the same.

Half of UPA’s thugs, mostly of DMK, who were exposed only because of their constant greed and manipulation and threats to Sonia to pull out of the UPA government, are in Tihar Jail. The CBI of this country is used as a tool for witchhunt by the Government of India.

The cost of living in the name of Globalisation, has widened the rift between the rich and the poor, with the middle class being pushed towards the lower bracket. While foodgrains rot in tonnes, the agriculture minister revels in being power broker of cricket.

We have our own Gaddafis, Mubaraks and Musharrafs in our own backyard in the guise of secular, democratic politicians.

God save India !!!

A tragedy called V.S.NAIPAUL..

VS Naipaul’s latest barb is that women write inferior ‘tosh’.The author is known to revel in controversies. To call women writers names, is totally uncalled for, but than so called Nobel Prize winners, highly celebrated celebrity authors such as Naipaul, live in a illusionary world of their own. He has become senile, age has caught up with him. Ask a reader, who pays from his pocket, the name of the last book written by Naipaul and you would understand the frustration that Naipaul feels.
The success of writers such as J.K.Rowling makes authors, especially such as Naipaul, who are at the flickering sunset of their careers, jealous with rage and hence the stupid rant.
I am sure that the knighthood conferred on “Sir Vidia” [this was I belive the name of a villain in a Hindi Bollywood musical called Karz too 🙂 ] has made him giddy.
More Brit than a Brit could be, Naipaul remains a literary figure appreciated only by the critics and not the Indian Masses.
Give me a Chetan Bhagat, J.K.Rowling or even our own dirty old man Khushwant Singh anyday….